"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl
do you ever have confliction within yourself on whether you should keep or drop people because their actions and words just don't coincide and it's hurting  impacting you so much it's affecting your self esteem but you refuse to admit they're actually so important to you? you just can't sit well knowing how they're so alright with your emotions unsettled and there's no way you can bring things up and clear the air with them because the trust bridge is completely shattered on insincerity?
shower thoughts become self-doubting sessions of am-i-good-enough, and you know other people who want to see you be like this are doing this intentionally, but you choose to let them crumble you piece by piece, layer by layer, until there's nothing left. you know its not good for you, but you can't get out of the negative thoughts that's sinking you incredibly, unconsciously, because everyone seems to think that's what you should be doing and you simply follow it.


recently life hasn't been as smooth sailing as i would want it to be, but after-all we all have our nadirs and zenith that's why i'm here with my word vomit. it's almost the time of the year where honeymoon period turns stale and everything starts to sink because you no longer have the extra energy to hold things up after trying to get past the day but everyday i tell myself to remain stalwart and courageous in tough situations and brave through the storm with true friends i can count on at my my fingertips. 


today as i lie in my bed with my laptop and blankets tucked i just want to tell you that you're beautiful and wonderfully loved and you should never let anyone put you down no matter how good you think they are. self-esteem is real, and it is important. those who loves you will always do, no matter how the rest sees you. keep your chin up and let learnt how to let go of toxic people in your life and take time to differentiate between those who are genuine and those who aren't. let no one stifle your self-esteem, ever.

"Self-esteem isn't everything, it's just that there's nothing without it." - Gloria Steinem

its not saying one should always think they're way too self-satisfied with themselves because my grandma always tells me too good of anything is always bad.

"you're too pretty to be here."
"you're too good for me."
"your pasta is too cooked."

you see.

there'll be times where you can feel bad about yourself and you simply find no light in the tunnel but trust me the discomfort of the dark tunnel will bring you great light at the end of the tunnel, so next give up, and press on. before you know it, you might start seeings things in a better light, where your thoughts are happy again, and never dreading to wake up ever.

there'll be good times and bad times, and its the same for everyone, always remember.

till the next time,